Advice for Planning Your Nuptial Mass: Interview With a Catholic Wedding Coordinator

Kate C. and I went to college together.  She started dating her now-husband at the start of her freshman year! Kate got involved with being a sacristan for the daily and Sunday Masses on campus, and our chaplain later suggested she apply for an open wedding coordinator position as an extension of her sacristan duties.  A few years after I graduated, we ran into each other at my friends' wedding, which she coordinated during her senior year.  In my experience, figuring out a wedding day timeline, from getting ready to traveling to photos to the Mass to the reception, was one of the biggest challenges, due to the sheer number of vendors, locations, and logistics involved.  So, figuring she's seen the gamut of wedding Masses and gained some serious insight into planning the liturgy and how it fits into the rest of the day, I asked Kate to share her experience, along with a few secrets!

Kate, her husband Joe, and their impeccable cake manners

Well first, let's talk about what a church wedding coordinator does.  Can you tell me about your responsibilities?  How is being the sacristan for a nuptial Mass different from being the sacristan for a regular Mass?

The responsibilities of a sacristan are to set up, clean up and care for the church before and after a Mass.  A church wedding coordinator can also be the sacristan for weddings, but is primarily there to make sure the wedding goes smoothly and to act as a liaison between the church and the couple.  As a sacristan at a nuptial Mass, it means my focus is split between the preferences of the priest and of the bride and groom for things like how the chapel is set up.

Working on your college campus must have meant you knew a lot of the people at the weddings you coordinated.  How often were you scheduled for the weddings of your friends and acquaintances, and what was it like to be there for their Masses?
I enjoyed seeing my friends fall in love and get married at the Mount. It was an honor to see them get married, and a blessing to watch so many couples follow Christ's teachings so passionately, despite their weaknesses.  I guess was truly able to see the human element of marriage more clearly by watching my friends, relatives, and acquaintances get married.  As a coordinator, I went to a wedding once or twice a month. During my senior year, I went to about 20!

You're a twin!  You were engaged at the same time, and you've mentioned to me, in the past, the craziness of helping plan your sister's wedding.  What was it like, and did you bring in any of your official wedding coordinating experience?
Yes, I have a twin sister.  The dynamics of two weddings within a year of each other is another blog post!  For now, I'll say weddings, babies, and funerals change family dynamics, and because of that, it's important for brides to take care of their mental and spiritual health.

Your job, as a sacristan and coordinator, is to help the bride and groom's wedding Mass go as smoothly as possible.  What's the most helpful thing a couple can do to simplify things for themselves and make your work easier?
The most helpful thing a bride can do is plan ahead.  I know that there are a lot of tiny details and they can be overwhelming.  Two essentials are, first, knowing who will pick up flowers for the church, and second, choosing your readings ahead of time.  It saves both the sacristan and the bride headaches. The couple should also keep extra copies of their selected readings and music.  I can't tell you how many liturgical ministers lose music and readings!

I'd love to hear stories from some of the weddings you've worked on!  Are there any particularly profound moments that stand out to you?  Any funny or otherwise memorable ones?

One couple, an acquaintance of mine, shocked me when they chose John's account of the Passion for their Gospel reading (NB from Stephanie: This is the wedding where Kate and I ran into each other!) .  It was interesting to hear of the sacrifical nature of marriage so openly discussed at a wedding. 

At another wedding, I spent 30 minutes talking to the visiting Franciscan Priest about whether he should wear shoes during the wedding. He insists that the sanctuary should not be marred by unclean shoes. He said if Moses didn't wear shoes in the pressence of God, he shouldn't wear shoes near the tabernacle where Christ is pressent fully.

I also once consoled a flower girl who cried when she realized she wasn't going to marry her brother, who was the groom. She was about 5 years old at the time. I think it was a testament to her brother's character and faith. I was privileged to see this unique family welcome their son's bride into the family.

How did your coordinating experience come into play when planning your own wedding?
When I was planning my own wedding, my experience helped my husband Joe and I plan our wedding liturgy with ease. We knew we wanted a Latin liturgy, so we were able to communicate our desires with the three concelebrating priests.  Even though Joe didn't get the full Latin mass he hoped for, my experience as a sacristan helped me work on a compromise between us and the priests, to have Latin responses to the Mass parts.

Any other advice or planning secrets you can share with Catholic brides-to-be?
Obviously, prudence about what to compromise and when is necessary.  Just because you're getting married doesn't mean you'll get every wedding detail that you want.  As long as your fiancé is the man of your dreams, the details will fall into place.  The happiest brides (and the ones most ready for marriage) are completely focused on God and their fiancés.  These brides are invested in wedding planning, but they know even if they don't get this or that, their marriage is what's paramount.  So, don't stress out, roll with the planning punches, and focus on spending your life with your fiancé.  Honestly, no flowers, pictures, or decorations can compare to building a life with him. 

Here area couple things that are good to know for planning your day: First, any flowers you purchase to decorate the church may act as a donation, including vases.  Different churches have different police, so ask the sacristan how the flowers are handled after the wedding Mass.  Second, though you technically don't have to pay to get married in the Church, parishes may ask for a small donation to help pay the priest, sacristan, and other staff.  Third, delegate tasks to others the day of your wedding.  You will not have time to do it yourself!  Things like handling the flower delivery should be handled by a friend.  Lastly, note that you won't have the church for the whole day.  You may have only 2 or 3 hours to get in, get married, and get out before another function needs to start.  So, try your best to be on time!

Just for fun, I would love to hear your best piece of advice for Catholic marriage, in general!

Remember that love is not a feeling, but an action. You will not always like your husband but your vows compel you to always choose him, over and over, for a lifetime. That is the secret to love and marriage: one must choose love repeatedly. 

Thanks so much, Kate!  Here, if you're planning your nuptial Mass, a few other offerings to help you out:

Insight into choosing more unusual readings, and the story of that wedding where they read the Passion Gospel

Customizable, downloadable wedding program templates

How to explain to skeptical friends and family the why and the how of having a nuptial Mass (i.e. no beaches or Coldplay songs) with truth and charity

What's in My Makeup Bag for a Wedding Weekend

I've mentioned here a few times that almost all of my close friends got married within the same 16-month span, during which Andrew and I went to 9 weddings.  Almost all of them were at the chapel on our college campus, and our living out of state at the time meant, naturally, a lot of travel time, but also a lot of packing, which I somehow manage to be both good at planning and horribly inefficient at actually executing.  Every time we have a trip, I tell myself I've got the routine down and have a list, so I delude myself into thinking it will be easy and put it off.  Then I find myself throwing extra thing after extra thing into my bags on the way out the door, panicked that I'm not bringing something off-list I might need.

So even with 9 weddings in less than two years under my postpartum belly band, I didn't really get better at general travel packing.  But I can say I did streamline my makeup routine into a few true blue staples I could use for daytime and nighttime weddings alike, few enough to fit into the tiny pink number you see up there and bring along in my bag for the day.  I might be wrongly assuming everyone else shares my nosiness about other people's favorite beauty products, but can I suggest some of the same for you?

Here's what I like to pack for rehearsal and wedding day makeup (some affiliate links):

Blush and bronzer palette: The E.L.F palette I have is meant to be an affordable alternative to this one by NARS that I'm sure I'd love, but mine does the job just fine.  After my foundation, I apply the bronzer in the shape of the number 3 from temples to chin (I read it somewhere once and it works for my face), and the blush on the apples of my cheeks.  Then I also use the bronzer on my eyes.  Not having to pack eyeshadow for the win.  It's subtle, but still adds depth and a little somethin' somethin' that I like.  One thing I'll say about the palette; these shades seem pretty heavily pigmented, so for my skin tone I have to use a really light hand (except on the eyes), unless it's summer and I have a little tan.

Eyeliner: For being a bridesmaid and for evenings, I line my eyes.  I know black is classic, and maybe it's just the brands I've tried, but black usually ends up too dramatic or ambitious than I like to look; it also seems to migrate under my eyes in a way that always looks zombie, not smoky.  So brown it is, and top lids only for me.  This one is my favorite.

Mascara: I'd actually never worn mascara for my entire, since-8th-grade-strong makeup-wearing career until this past summer!  Every product I used, even waterproof, gave my eye area the same dark cast I experience with black eyeliner.  But anyway, I was reading about mascara recommendations in a magazine a while back, and an editor who described herself as having oily skin and Asian eyes (like me), and having always experienced mascara migration problem (also like me), said that this mascara, which is formulated as tubes surrounding your lashes rather than stuff adhering to them (I don't think of these things; I just relay the info) doesn't budge.  And she's right!  With an exception.  The formula is meant to wash off with warm water.  I wore it to a wedding last summer and, oops, tears are warm water.  Meltage galore.  Or actually, it doesn't really dissolve, but slides off in one eyelash-shaped glob, no raccoon eyes or scrubbing, when you remove it, which is one of my favorite things about it.  So while I think this particular mascara is awesome for everyday, maybe you're better off with your own tried and true for this one!

Nail polish: I procrastinate on manicures for events thinking that the closer to the big day, the smaller chance of my nails getting totaled.  But it's not the best--I've painted them in the moving car or in the parking lot outside the church at least three times on the way to a wedding.  I should probably plan ahead more or just go naked-nailed, but knowing myself, for traveling I bring a light and a dark shade in my makeup bag to match whatever I end up wearing.  I like Essie Fiji and Wicked.

Chapstick: I went through a bright lip phase a few years ago, but now that I'm constantly kissing my babies I don't wear lipstick too often anymore.  All the better for Andrew, a professed hater of colorful lips.  Just chapstick for this kisser these days.  I know everyone has her own favorite, but I've used Burt's Bees since high school and love it for the not-too-slippery texture.  Every time I've cheated on my beloved Honey or Peppermint flavors, I've regretted it, so I just stick with those.

Other stuff I bring along: Perfume, bobby pins and hair elastics, earrings, and hairspray (well, full disclosure, the hairspray doesn't fit in the makeup bag so I just bring it along in my purse or keep it in the car).  And snacks!  Driving long distances, staying over at someone's house or in a hotel, and the busyness of running from wedding event to event adds up to erratic eating patterns and, for me, hanger.  I like to keep nuts, cereal, fruit, and if I'm really on top of things, hard-boiled eggs in a cooler bag to eat while we're running around.  Actually, now that I have a toddler, I've learned how essential it is to never leave home without food, lest crankiness take over, so the snack-packing aspect has gotten easier to prioritize.  I tried and tried to find a video of this, but let's just have a moment mentally: remember when Michael Scott asked Pam's mom for a snack at Pam and Jim's wedding?  "You're a mom, so I thought you might have one," he says.  That's my life now.

Alright, ladies.  Any other frequent wedding travelers out there?  I meant it when I said I'm nosy about other women's beauty routines, so I'm all ears on your favorite products and multi-taskers.  Indulge my curiosity?

Love Notes: Date Night In Essentials

{small ways to show great love}

I admit, this might be a little late coming off the heels of Valentine's Day. But, between living on a budget and watching snow fall outside my window as I type this, I am personally a huge fan of the date night in.

Sometimes, the fact that you're on an at-home date sneaks up on you.  And sometimes, it's too easy for Andrew and I to do the bare minimum, watching Netflix while eating chocolate chips out of the bag and wearing pajama pants with holes in them.  Don't get me wrong!  I think there's true romance to be found in familiarity.  But, I think there's also much to be said for putting in a few little efforts that can make all the difference in your date-mosphere.  Taking a few minutes to tidy up the living room, making or buying a more elegant treat than raw chocolate chips and making a nice presentation of it, lighting a candle, and surprising each other with a new-to-you movie or album can all add an element of novelty and magic, and who couldn't use more of that?

And so, with the money you'll save on going out (and, if you're in our boat, a babysitter), I humbly suggest spending it elsewhere to build a Date Night In collection over time, with stuff you'll look forward to breaking out:

Slippers | Jerusalem and Gjelina cookbooks | Necklace | Earrings | Cheese Boards | Wineglasses | Jenga | Rose Gold and Blue Candles (the prettiest, most delicious scented candles I've ever used!)  | special Matches | Alpaca Throw | Perfume

Add the likes of these to your wedding registry if you haven't thought of them already!  And I'd love to know what I missed: what are your date-at-home must haves?

Captive the Heart Turns Four: A Roundup of Favorites and Some Minor Sentimentality

Photo Source

My marathon of post-Lily guest offerings is done just in time for her to turn 3 months old in a few days.  And what better way to ease myself back into the blogging habit, I figure, than with a post light on new stuff and heavy on past linkage.  Last Wednesday marked four years since I wrote my first blog post ever.  I hesitated to say my blog "turned four" in the title since, you know, I've only actively written it for about three of those four years.  I can only say I fully plan to have things be different when my children turn four.

My children!  It would be stating the obvious to say so much has changed in my life over four years, but seriously.  I went from unemployed newlywed to government worker, to briefly unemployed again, to secretary to nanny to full-time mama.  I went from being a Masters degree wife in one city to a PhD wife in another.  We had a baby, then had another one.  I wrote a book.  I gratefully watched comments slooowly roll in as I talked about awkward things, ventured for a while into amateur fashion blogging, and shared my life.

Far better than the comments are the friendships.  I think every blogger hopes she'll be widely read, with comments, likes, and emails to show for it.  And I have to admit that yes, those visible, quantifiable marks of how many peeps are reading make my day when I receive them and sometimes throw me into unattractively self-centered doubt when I don't.  But more than just wanting the readership, I sincerely wanted to form a community, however small, here, and am so happy that intention has become real.  I love the sisterhood I've found in some readers and other bloggers, and love that I'm on a similar path with some of the closest friends I've made through blogging--over the past few years, we have each started families and grown through the newlywed phase of our marriages around the same time.

So, if you are reading this, thank you.  I'm so grateful for your prayers, your words, and your friendship.  If you're a longtime reader, thank you for sticking with a writer who let "maternity break" stretch into a yearlong blog death when her first baby turned everything upside down.  If you're new here, thank you for dropping by, and I hope you'll stay a while.  I still feel about this piece of the internet the same way I did when I started it: that I hope my love of weddings and relentless, if clumsy, pursuit of authentic love will come through these words and images to inspire your relationship and will just let me be a vessel of something greater; the path to holiness and to heaven, illuminated by Mary to the feet of her Son.

In celebration (and, like I said, because I'm easing back into this!), here, in no particular order, are 10 of my favorite posts, to revisit or to read for the first time:

Theology of the Body-inspired first dance songs 

The sort of mourning I sometimes feel for newlywed life, and how I'm learning to reconcile my identity as bride and mother 

My favorite quality in my husband 

Why one World Youth Day attendee was right when he said St. Pope John Paul II "introduced us to ourselves" through the person of Jesus 

How I became okay with feeling like a boring couple

Are soul mates real, and does it matter? 

That time Andrew hijacked my blog

Honeymoon multi-taskers for lazy packers and small suitcases 

The book that puts my particular spirituality into words 

Remembering my best, and last, first date

So, four years in, can we have a little State of the Blog chat in the comments?  Tell me what you like to see here, what you don't, and how I can make this into a better wedding planning resource for you.  I love hearing from you, truly!  Much love.

Brides Who've Been There: 9 Laugh and Cry-Worthy Proposal Stories

I'm taking a blogging break to soak up our sweet Lily Grace (and, let's be honest, to keep my head above water through this beautiful newborn chaos), so I asked some of my married friends to contribute in my absence.  Today I'm concluding my series on other brides' take on wedding planning, bridal beauty and style, and newlywed life.  

I love proposal stories and asked them to share!

My mother had passed away a few months prior, and there was so much work that needed to be done on my house--I lived with my mom to help take care of her, and any home repairs just went by the wayside with all her appointments, surgeries, and hospitalizations.   I applied for a Catholic youth group  to help with repairs.  The mission group that worked on my house was wonderful, and we became very close.  They invited my (then) boyfriend and I to join them for dinner each evening.  On one of these evenings, my boyfriend got up and said how encouraging the whole group was, and then he got down on one knee.  There's nothing like having 100 teenagers to share your joy!  A couple of them even were able to come to the wedding!  My engagement ring is my mother's diamond in a new setting. - Jenn

My husband is very romantic and always loves to surprise me.  One day, he blindfolded me and drove me around town so I would lose my sense of direction.  He eventually stopped the car and told me to wait inside for a minute.  Then he came and got me and pulled off my blindfold.  We were at a park, and in front of me was a picnic on a blanket.  There was a vase of roses, two candles, and my favorite Chinese food.  I was so thrilled.  As we sat down, my then-boyfriend asked if I noticed anything unusual.  I said no.  He then drew my attention to a ring slid down on the candle stem.  I was so overjoyed.  I pulled it off and we hugged.  The funny thing was that while we were hugging, my husband whispered into my ear, "Will you marry me?"  The day was kind of chilly, so I had a hood on and I didn't hear him whisper through the hood.  When we pulled back from the hug, he had this look of panic on his face.  I asked him what was wrong and he said, "You didn't answer me."  Then I realized what had happened, gave him a big smile and said, "You never had to ask.  I've known it was you from day one."  We've been married for 14 years now and he is still the one.  My ring is very simple, but I love it.  It was bought by a poor college boy who couldn't wait to ask me, and for that reason alone it is priceless to me.  It is also a reminder of how far we've come.  We were 22 when we married and didn't have much, but we have grown a beautiful life together.  The ring symbolizes our simple beginning, and I cherish that beginning.  - Amy

My husband proposed to me in the same park where he first told me he loved me. It's a pretty famous park in our city, and there was a lot going on there that day. A high school was having their senior prom. There were a lot of people from concerts at near by concert halls and theaters. But the thing that makes the proposal most memorable was that right after he finished getting down on one knee, and right after I said yes, we were accosted by a homeless person asking us for money! - Anna

My husband's proposal was very simple. After an evening event in downtown Annapolis, Maryland (where I was living at the time), we walked down to the City Dock. He proposed by the water. Sailboats were anchored nearby and lights shone on the surface of the water. It was quiet. There was no kneeling and the words were few, but the sentiment was real. Afterward we walked around in quiet excitement, and nine months later we married a few blocks up the street. The area remains one of our favorite places to visit and reminisce. - Julie

In a nutshell, my husband Anthony finagled me into running through the rain to meet him at the chapel on our college campus (Franciscan University) the night before we both headed home for Christmas break, telling me that Adoration was going on there and he thought it'd be a great time to get in a little prayer before we left.  So, I did.  But upon walking through the big double doors, I didn't see Jesus anywhere, only stems of roses and candles lining the aisle towards the front of the chapel.  He led me up that aisle and told me all these wonderful things that went in one ear and out the other because I was so shocked, and then he got down on one knee, asked me to be his forever, and opened wide my tear ducts. - Sheena

The short version of the story (the long version can be found here) is that my husband proposed at the Shrine of St. Thérèse in Royal Oak, Michigan. He wanted to propose in the Adoration chapel, so naturally I wanted to look at every single nook and cranny of the church before we finally made our way to the chapel. I love that he proposed there because we both have a huge devotion to St. Thérèse, so much so that our first daughter's middle name is after this great saint! My ring has five diamonds.  The middle three symbolize the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit, and the outer two symbolize my husband and I, and we are only united through the Trinity. The inside of the ring has a design of vines and branches to remind me of John 15, one of my favorite Bible passages. The full story on the ring can be found here. - Amanda

Dec. 2, 2006: I came home from an 8 hour shift at the bridal store where I worked to my then-boyfriend Matt mom preparing dinner with my mom. I was floored when the table was covered with red rose petals and red and white Hersey Kisses (my mom had been in charge of disposing the green ones from the Christmas bag). I spied a ring box, but said nothing as I went upstairs and changed into a cute dress. After eating homemade lasagna, Matt drove me to the little grass park overlooking Corona Del Mar Beach, where a few months prior we'd stood in the same spot around 4 a.m. and decided to get married (good things CAN happen after 2 a.m!). We looked at his family albums, and he brought the third and final one down from his parents house. At the end I closed it and he told me to open it again. Whoops! I had missed the last page where he had put a picture of us and a note. I thought it was so sweet but I still missed the main event, so he shone the flashlight on the ring that he had taped to the back inside cover and my jaw dropped. He got on one knee and said something neither of us remember, but we are both pretty sure that's when he proposed! My ring has a diamond in the middle with a sapphire on either side. We both love blue and had decided to marry on Sept. 8th, Our Lady's birthday.  He told me the diamond was to represent Mary above the moon and the stars. - Andi

I was sitting on my computer in my apartment my senior year of college, doing some homework. My husband was also there doing homework, but he randomly stopped and sat in the chair directly behind me. And then he pulled out a paper and started singing (which isn’t completely out of the ordinary-- he’d done that before). However, this time the last line was “Will you marry me?” and I just stared at him asking him if he was serious... a few times. Poor Jim had to ask again because I couldn’t believe that just happened!  I’ve always really liked three stone wedding rings because they represent the past, present, and the future, and that is the type of ring Jim chose. - Emily

My husband spent months planning his proposal. Two months into our dating relationship, he began giving me a little gift at every one-month anniversary.  All of those gifts worked together to spell out the proposal on our 7-month anniversary. He proposed at the place where we'd had our first date (a museum), with several more gifts that had special meaning from our relationship. He'd actually been bugging me about the ring for months, asking what I wanted. My answer was only that I wanted a simple, pretty, gold ring and that the engagement ring and wedding ring should be a set. - Bonnie

How about you?  I would LOVE to hear your proposal story in the comments!

Your Marriage As Mission: A Husband & Wife of 15 Years Share Their Best Advice

I look up to Karee of Can We Cana? so much.  She and her husband Manny have weathered major hard times, including brain tumors, in their 15 years of marriage while raising six kids.  They teach pre-Cana and are passionate about encouraging couples to live out the married vocation fully alive, so much so that they wrote a book about it, The Four Keys to Everlasting Love. I asked her and Manny to share ways to sort through all the advice, solicited and not, that you get bombarded with while planning your wedding, and to offer some wisdom of their own:

Image source.  Click here for more JPII graphics and an amazing mission.

The best advice we got before tying the knot...Before we got married, it seemed like everybody wanted to give us advice. Some of it was good, and some of it was not so good. One of the catchiest – and worst – pieces of advice we heard was “The smallest things cause the biggest fights.” We discovered whenever we were fighting about little things like toothpaste tubes and toilet paper rolls, there was something much bigger lurking in our relationship. We were avoiding a big issue by arguing about a small one.

So, you have to pick and choose whose advice works for you and whose doesn’t. But, from the perspective of fifteen years of happy marriage, here’s the wisest advice our friends and family shared with us early on, and how it helped our relationship:

Make sure you share the same mission.
Manny: Having the same mission is crucial! If you take care to find a mate with whom you share a common, overarching vision, oftentimes the details take care of themselves. I find this to be the case with Karee whether we’re talking about finances, childrearing, or our decision to use Natural Family Planning. Our shared mission is to put God and our family first, and God has never let us down.

Karee: Family and children were always important to Manny. From the beginning, he promised me he would do whatever it took, and work as many jobs as he needed, to provide for me and our children. Six kids later, he’s never broken that promise, sometimes taking four different part-time jobs to support the family without complaint. Sharing the mission of raising a big, beautiful Catholic family together has been a great blessing.

Marriage is a delicate flower, so you have to nurture it.
Manny: My parents’ neighbor Tony gave me this advice. As a seasoned divorce attorney who had managed to stay happily married, he knew what he was talking about. Constant communication is like soil, he said, hugs and kisses are like water, and laughter is like sunshine that every relationship needs in order to thrive. Thinking of marriage as a flower in need of constant care  helps combat the tendency to take it for granted.

Karee: Manny is a much better gardener than I. Since the first begonia I killed as a child, I’ve always despaired of my black thumb. I’m tempted to view people, relationships, and even my own body like machines that shouldn’t need more than annual check-ups and maintenance. Of course, everybody needs more than once-a-year care, so I’m truly grateful for my husband’s nurturing tendencies.

In getting married, you are beginning a great project. But you will struggle.
Manny: My father uttered these words at the reception on our wedding day. Little did I know how true they would be. Before a year had passed, Karee and I dealt with the grief of thinking (mistakenly) that we couldn’t have children, and later, with the joy of expecting our first child. Almost eight months to the day we were married, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had to undergo a major lifesaving operation. Expect to struggle and it won’t catch you by surprise.

Karee: My father-in-law has a strong Spanish accent, so the word “struggle” sounded like “eh-strrrruggle.” His words were unexpected, and totally unforgettable. In the fifteen years of our marriage, Manny has gone through four brain surgeries and three major job changes. I’ve gone through six pregnancies and natural childbirths, and I’ve switched careers from law to journalism to stay-at-home mothering and then back to writing again. A lot of people go through just as many changes after they get married. And change is always difficult, but it can bring great opportunities for growth in faith, strength, and virtue.

Thanks so much, Karee and Manny!  Visit them at their blog, and their book is available for pre-order on Amazon.  The foreword is by Christopher West!

Your turn.  Tell me, what's the best piece of marriage advice you've received, and how do you sift through all the opinions?