From the cost of the lawyer to the loss of a spouse’s income, divorce often comes at a high price. What’s more, spouses may walk away from the proceedings with significantly fewer assets and retirement savings. That’s not to mention the emotional toll of the process.
“At the end of the day, divorce is terrible,” says David Hays, president of Comprehensive Financial Consultants in Bloomington, Indiana.
However, that doesn’t mean the news is all bad. While not a reason to run out and get a divorce, here’s a look at seven financial benefits that could make a sad situation seem a little better.
1. Easier budgeting and greater control over money. The end of a marriage can mean the end of fights over money. There is no more struggle over which categories get priority in the budget; no more evenings spent cajoling or pleading with a spouse to rein in spending. “On the other side of divorce is some freedom,” says Elijah Kovar, a partner with Great Waters Financial in the Richfield suburb of Minneapolis.
Nancy Hetrick, a senior financial advisor with Better Money Decisions in Phoenix, can attest to that. In the six months after her divorce to a spendthrift husband, she accumulated $20,000 in savings, thanks to her ability to set her own budgeting priorities. Meanwhile, her ex racked up tens of thousands in debt over the same period. “Typically, it’s going to be positive for one person, not the other,” she says.
2. Early access to a retirement fund, penalty-free. A divorce is one of the few times a person can pull money out of a retirement account early and not pay an early withdrawal penalty. When an agreement known as a qualified domestic relations order is reached as part of a divorce, it allows for an early withdrawal from the account. This money is exempt from the typical 10 percent penalty assessed to those younger than age 59 1/2, although income tax still needs to be paid if the money is not rolled into an IRA.
Cashing out part of a retirement account can be a risky move, but it gives the newly divorced some options they may not otherwise have. “You can really get someone in a much better cash-flow position,” Hetrick says of the smart use of that money.
Ric Edelman, founder of Edelman Financial Services, cautions people not to be too hasty about withdrawing money from an account. He notes that sometimes, in amicable divorces, people try to split the balance of a retirement fund without a qualified domestic relations order. That can be an expensive mistake. “Don’t make any decisions without the advice of an attorney and a financial planner,” he says.![]()
Think of it as a financial decision, not an emotional one.
3. Potentially better investment returns. Divorce could mean better investment returns, at least for women, says Mela Garber, principal at accounting firm Anchin Block and Anchin in New York City. “Men usually take a more aggressive approach to investments and take more risks,” she says. Her observation is backed up by studies such as a 2017 analysis by Fidelity Investments that found women were less likely to fully invest in equities and earned marginally better gains than men. After a divorce, women have the opportunity to take over their own retirement planning, which could be a financial positive in the long run.
4. More college financial aid for the kids. Divorce can be difficult for children, but there is one place where they come out ahead: college financial aid. The Free Application for Federal Student Aid only requires financial information from the custodial parent rather than both parents. However, child support and alimony received from the non-custodial parent must be included on the FAFSA. “We’ve structured some really creative settlements to minimize the income of one parent,” Hetrick says. Additional financial aid is a little-known benefit of divorce, but one that is significant.
5. Social Security perks for older divorcees. Divorced spouses may be eligible to file for Social Security spousal benefits at retirement. You’re entitled to these benefits if you were married to your spouse for at least 10 years. “The ex doesn’t even know you’re doing it,” Edelman says. “It doesn’t have an impact on the benefits the ex will receive.”
If you were 62 by Jan. 1, 2016, you can file a restricted application for Social Security spousal benefits once you hit full retirement age. No longer allowed for younger workers, this application will allow you to receive half your spouse’s benefit while you defer your own and let it grow until age 70. For married couples, this only works if a person’s spouse has already started his or her benefit. However, for divorced spouses, the rules are different. “When divorced, you don’t have to wait until your ex turns on Social Security,” Kovar says.
6. Opportunity to reset financial priorities. While people are sometimes resentful of lifestyle changes necessitated by divorce, finance experts say the opportunity to rethink priorities and start fresh can be a positive. Even major adjustments, like giving up a family home, can be beneficial in the long run. “Sometimes it’s financially better to have a smaller house or apartment,” Garber says.
7. A better bottom line. As Hetrick discovered, divorce doesn’t have to mean a depleted bank account. Even on a lower income, divorced people can build wealth by making smart use of their resources.
The reality is not everyone’s financial situation will improve with divorce, but some people are surprised to learn that it does. “One [client] said, I don’t know why I have so much money now,” Hays says.
Getting a divorce isn’t something to rush into, but if you find yourself in the midst of a crumbling marriage, don’t despair. You may still come out ahead thanks to these little-known financial benefits of divorce.
Source: https://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/family-finance/articles/2017-09-29/7-little-known-financial-benefits-of-divorce
Now that the kids are back to school and you have read Back to School Tips for Divorcing Parents, it is time to co-parent during the school year. Through the years of representing parents in custody cases, I have seen many issues arise between parents and I have seen parents find practical solutions for those problems.
I highly encourage parents to find practical solutions when it comes to co-parenting during the school year. Otherwise, you will be in and out of court seeking piecemeal band-aid solutions from a third party and, in the meantime, your child will suffer. The goal is making school go smoothly for your child.
Here are my tips:- Familiarize yourself with the electronic communication options with the school. Nowadays, many school districts have online portals with your child’s information. Request two separate logins. If only one login is permitted, share the password with the other parent so you both can receive the information directly. It is better to have equal access than to be responsible for communicating the information directly. This was the other parent is responsible for getting their own information and cannot accuse you of withholding information.
- Let the teacher know to use both parent’s email addresses when sending out announcements or emails about any concerns they have about your child. Copy the other parent on your communications back to the teacher. I am sure you would likewise want to be copied.
- Let the other parent know when your child is home sick and whether any make-up work needs to be coordinated.
- Try to attend parent-teacher conferences together. I understand that sometimes this is not possible because the parents cannot get along well enough to be in the same room and the conference will not be productive. However, if you can, attend the conference together so that both parents can be on the same page and can hear the teacher’s response to each of the parent’s concerns.
- Use a shared calendar. It can be a google calendar, through Our Family Wizard or any other calendar that works for you. Through the shared calendar you can share information about extracurricular activities and school project deadlines. If you do not have the same weekdays each week you can mark when sneakers are needed for gym class and what day their library book needs to be returned.
- Discuss school projects and who is going to take the lead on what part of the project. I hear all the time about the lack of coordination and the stress on the child. I recall a situation when a child was returned to her parent on Sunday night with a book report due on Monday. The parent dropped the child off without the book and with the report not done and told the other parent to go buy their own copy. The child suffered the most in this situation.
- Be proactive. If you see a slip in grades or any other changes in your child that you think may be associated with the situation at home, talk to the school guidance counselor and consider counseling for the child and/or co-parenting counseling for the parents.
- Take your ego out of it. This is not about you, it is about your child.
It is challenging enough to make sure your children is organized and ready for school when the family is intact. Divorce usually makes it harder. Communication mechanisms are key and hopefully these tips can help too.
Source: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/eight-tips-for-co-parenting-through-the-school-year_us_59a95e4ce4b0c50640cd5ebc
When my ex-husband and I split in 1994 we were both 26 years old.
I had just taken the CA Bar Exam and was waiting for my results. Despite a lovely (and expensive) wedding fourteen months earlier we thought that cutting our losses, going our separate ways and chalking the whole affair up to a “starter marriage” was likely the best option. Notwithstanding some necessary and sophisticated wedding gifts (which according to Emily Post need not have been returned as we had made it past the one year mark and had already sent literally hundreds of hand written thank you notes), a financed Jeep Wrangler, our Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Raul and a futon that had travelled with me from Berkeley after college, we did not have much in the way of assets to divide. In terms of debt we had some credit cards to pay off and we each took one and the airline mileage plan miles that came with it and called it a day.
Prior to moving out of our rented house in Laurel Canyon we each inventoried the items we wished to take with us to our new, smaller, rental residences. Having taken a community property course in law school and being the daughter of a divorce lawyer I knew a bit about the character of our belongings.
Anything one brings into the marriage (i.e.: my futon) is separate property and stays with the person who brought it.
The separate property characterization also attaches to anything which is given to you alone as a gift, an inheritance or earned after the parties separate but before the division of assets or divorce is final (for example, if parties separate and one party writes a song filled with sorrow, despondence and heartbreak about the breakup that song (melodramatic or not) is separate property and if it hits the Billboard charts the person who wrote it receives the spoils as opposed to the one who inspired it simply based on the timing of when pen was put to paper. In CA, community property is defined as anything produced or procured, during the marriage with funds earned during the period.
So back to the point, how to divvy it all up? In the case of my ex and I, for better or for worse, we didn’t have much. Our bank accounts were sparse and beyond the Jeep we were still paying off, we had no real assets of monetary value. Completion of the necessary court forms on which we listed the few assets we did have didn’t really take specific furniture, furnishings, appliances and personal property into account.
I knew he had his eye on our dining room table and six chairs. I wanted our bed and luxurious Frette sheet set (a wedding gift from one of his parents’ European friends and nothing I was likely to be splurging for on my own anytime in the next decade). We alternated taking turns with our stuff like picking teams for a game at recess. As we chose items we tagged them with post it notes, blue for him, yellow for me so that we could keep track and make it easier for the movers who would be there later that week. Each of us kept our own clothing and jewelry/watches. I kept my mother’s china (which I have still never used) as it fell into the separate property category and we had a minor setback in the amicable division when we came to the fancy espresso machine received as a wedding gift but never used. This was resolved by a coin flip (he won) and double item pick on the next turn by me.
The general rule is that each party receives property valued at the same amount.
List all of the items you are keeping on one side of a balance sheet and all of the items your spouse is keeping on the other (IOE provides our Community Property Balance Sheet as a part of the platform to make it easy) calculate the value of each party’s column and figure out how close to equally you have divided things up. If an adjustment needs to be made you can move an item or two, equalize by a cash payment or….here’s a novel idea…. let it go.
Important to note is that the value of an item is what you could get for it at a garage sale or on Craig’s List not what you paid for it.
I have seen couples take photo/video inventories of their household items, furniture, furnishings, appliances and art and resolve the division that way. Many insurance companies insist that you keep a list of your personal property so that is a good resource as well. Remember, it is just stuff and the vase or candle stick you are fighting for today will likely not bring you nearly as much joy as you think it will. Let it go and buy another, newer, all-your-own version to enjoy. Almost everything is replaceable and with the money you are saving by not having to pay expensive attorneys to write $100 letters regarding $75 dollar decorative pillows you will have more to buy new furnishings.
For one of a kind items like memorabilia, photos and what I call “kid-art” there are amazing replication sites and services where I have seen clients reproduce full photo albums and walls of elementary school art projects. There is no need to fight over these items when you can each have your own version of Madison’s 5th Grade Still Life of Pear, Baguette, Bird and Wine Bottle. Books, DVDs and vinyl – what can I say, do these even get divided anymore in the age of downloading and streaming? If so, same premise, be cool. If you guys do this well, you can always call up and ask to borrow the Metallica, Master of Puppets album later in life.
Source: https://insights.itsovereasy.com/how-to-divide-it-all-up
Being divorced isn’t easy on anyone in the family. It’s likely heartbreaking for all involved and will leave a scar for a long time. This is why it’s so important that you care for yourself and don’t let your wellbeing suffer in the process.
You deserve happiness too and should start realizing this fact today. Give yourself a chance to get back on your feet and then get out there and start meeting your goals one by one. There’s nothing wrong with being apprehensive about what the future holds, but you shouldn’t let it stop you from trying to create a better outlook for yourself.
Find Time for you
Put yourself at the top of your priority list. Even though you have kids, you have to come first during this very difficult time in your life. It’s a huge transition, and you shouldn’t feel bad for being anxious about what the days ahead hold for you. Be sure to exercise daily, eat right and go out and find work that you love doing. You’ll be a better person and parent when you make more time for yourself.
Don’t be Afraid to Date Again
You shouldn’t be afraid to start looking and dating if you’re ready. Get excited about the idea of finding love again. If you’re a guy who has recently found a new girlfriend then check out the site fun attic for cute names to call your girlfriend that she’ll just love. It’s healthy to express your feelings for another person in words and to build a stronger connection with the one you’re dating. Take it slow and remember to protect your heart, but also be open to new possibilities.
Attend to your Mind
During and after a divorce, your mind is probably going nuts. There are so many thoughts and opinions you have on the matter that it’s hard to manage it all. This is why you need to find activities like yoga, meditation and hiking that allow you to attend to your racing thoughts and clear your head. It’s necessary that you spend time working through what’s on your mind and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. If you’re anxious it’s likely because of what you’re thinking, so be smart about getting in front of the emotions before they take over.
Join A Support Group
There are a lot of divorced parents in the world. Don’t think for a second that you’re alone. You may feel like it at the time, but it’s not true. Join a divorce support group to prove yourself wrong and witness how many others are dealing with a similar situation as you. This group will give you a chance to express yourself and connect with others who can share in your pain and provide tips based on their own experience.
Conclusion
Don’t be ashamed if you’re a divorced parent. Look after yourself and get to a better place before you try to tackle other tasks. Practice behaviors that allow you to stay optimistic and see a brighter future for yourself.
Source: http://abcathome.com/wellness/what-divorced-parents-can-do-to-stay-healthy-optimistic/
You’ve gone through divorce and it’s natural that you are feeling sad, disappointed, betrayed, or even hopeless. These are the times when everything you hoped for and believed in become lost. You don’t know what to do or what the future will bring. This is a difficult state of limbo that brings out many of our insecurities.
What matters now is that you start taking care of yourself. That may not be what you want to do, but it’s an essential step for your recovery after divorce. The following are basic steps that will help you get going when the going gets tough.
9 Basic Steps to Take While on the Road to Recovery After Divorce.
1. Get Enough Sleep
Sleep is essential for the healthy functioning of both your brain and body in general. All your organs get replenished during sleep, and your brain integrates experiences and learning. During these difficult times, you may have trouble sleeping or you may be inclined to sleep too long during the day. But, in either case, it’s essential to maintain sleep hygiene. In other words, continue going to sleep at the same time you always have and continue maintaining the same conditions in the room where you sleep. Proper sleep will help you heal faster, both emotionally and physically.
2. Get Moving
You can’t stay in the same space if you get moving. No pun intended. What I’m trying to say here is, start exercising. You can’t stay in a gloomy mood if you start exercising. Even if you start doing something physical for five to 10 minutes, it’ll make a difference. I know it’s hard to start something that you really don’t feel like doing. When you are depressed, you really don’t feel like exercising. But this doesn’t need to be a super vigorous workout. Just do something.
Bonus tip: do it outdoors, in the sun, if your health allows. Research shows that spending time outdoors and in the sun has very positive effects on our mood and health in general. Of course, you need to consult your physician if you are not sure if exercising is right for you.
3. Get Going with Routine Daily Activities
Maintaining a regular routine is essential for your recovery. It’s understandable that you may need to take some time off and recover if you feel the need, but continuing to take care of your duties can help you feel normalcy again as time goes by. Having too much time on your hands and not doing anything can lead to deeper depression and the potential for substance abuse or other unhealthy behaviors. Even if you are not working, you can engage in volunteering, hobbies, start your own business, etc.
4. Schedule Time to Wallow in Your Sorrows
This sounds ridiculous, right? Of course, it does. A licensed therapist tells you to indulge in your depressive moods. Well, it’s an effective intervention to help people feel in control of their symptoms. So, go ahead and schedule that time with yourself to just feel sad and sorry. Dwell until you feel bored. Don’t go more than 15 to 20 minutes.
This is very helpful when you feel teary during work for instance. In that moment, you can tell yourself that you have scheduled some time to “dwell.” Thus, you give yourself a chance to honor your grief while continuing with your daily activities, and you feel in charge of your emotions.
5. Schedule Time to Reflect on All the Great Things About Being Single
Every situation in life has the duality of positive vs. negative, grief vs. happiness, loss vs. gain. Being married had its advantages, but you also need to sacrifice for it. Similarly, being single can be seen as advantageous in so many ways. Now is the time when you can do all those things that you didn’t do because you wanted to maintain status quo in your relationship. It’s even possible that you neglected your health, appearance, or values in order to make the relationship work. Now is the time when you can focus on yourself and enjoy the life you couldn’t during your marriage. How about starting by going to a restaurant you didn’t go to because he didn’t like that kind of food. Or, going to museums or exhibits that he was never into? What else can you think of?
6. Reach Out to Your Old Friends
Yes, those ones who you somewhat neglected while you were lost in your relationship. We’ve all been there. We get married, life takes over, and friendships go on the back burner. Still, reach out to your good friends. If they were true friends, they will be there for you and they will understand your preoccupation with family and other obligations. Your friends will be there to bring you ice cream and warm socks if want to just stay in, or they may even drag you out against your will, and it’s going to be good for you.
7. Maintain a Healthy Diet
It’s natural that you will be tempted to reach out for comfort food, but if you give into it for too long, it can lead to negative health consequences. It’s also been shown that processed foods usually affect mood negatively. In order to avoid this, you can surround yourself with healthy options, such as fruits and vegetables. If you have enough fruit around, you can eat it instead of sugary treats. This will help you curb down cravings. It also provides you with the needed nutrients to help you heal and recover faster.
8. Sign Up for Something New
Riding class? Oh, my God! How amazing it is. In spite of the fear of falling, being able to maneuver a beautiful huge animal is so empowering. Even more than that, the connection of being with horses is very healing. They are able to fill you with love and joy.
Not a horse person? No worries. There are so many activities out there, and there are probably things you wanted to do, but never had a chance. This is your chance. Sign up for knitting or a sewing class. Go rock climbing or skydiving. Try meet-up groups. You can find meet-up groups for just about any activity under the sun.
Doing something new rewires your brain. You create new neural pathways, and this is very healing. An added bonus is that you can meet new people while doing these activities. You are starting a new life, and this will help you create new experiences.
9. Be Compassionate Towards Yourself
You are probably not used to it, but now is the time to start. Nurture self-compassion. Don’t beat yourself up for not being able to get over your ex quickly. Allow yourself to be in this limbo space and honor your tempo of the grieving process. It’s OK to acknowledge where you are and accept the fact that you are feeling sad, disappointed, betrayed, or hopeless. Only when you are mindful of where you are now can you move on to be where you want to be.
Source: https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/you-are-divorced-and-feeling-lost-tips-for-self-care/
Contemplating a prenuptial agreement? First, consider your assets and shared finances.
If you're getting ready to tie the knot, you may be wondering if getting a prenup – a legal document that determines how assets will be divided and protected in the event of a divorce – is a smart financial decision.
And you wouldn't be alone. According to a 2016 survey from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, a rising number of prenups have been requested in the past three years. What's more, 51 percent of attorneys reported an increase in prenup requests from millennials. Why the recent uptick? As a rising number of couples are opting
to get married later in life, both the bride- and groom-to-be have more assets to protect.If you're considering a prenup, here are the benefits and drawbacks to factor in first.
Pro: Entering a prenup can help you prepare for the worst. Meghan Freed, a divorce attorney with Freed Marcroft, a family law firm in Hartford, Connecticut, says millennials and those in second marriages often request prenuptial agreements.
"They've either seen their parents divorce or have close friends whose parents have divorced, and they accept not only that divorce can happen, but that it can be planned for, so that its consequences are less severe," Freed says.
Pro: A prenup can protect you from your spouse's accumulated debt. "Probably the most common reason for a prenup with first-time marriages right now is student debt. Everybody has it [and] no one wants to get divorced and add their ex's graduate school debt to their own," Freed says.
Pro: A prenup forces you to commit to full transparency when it comes to talking about your finances. If you openly talk about getting a prenup, chances are you'll become better as a couple at discussing details about your credit scores, debt and spending patterns, and during your conversations, you may learn some important things about your partner, says Louis Atlas, a divorce attorney in New York City. "It may reveal the debts of a person going into a marriage," Atlas says.
Pro: A prenuptial contract can protect valuable assets you want to stay in your family. "For example, [consider] a diamond ring that has been in a family for generations, which has acquired a personal significance and sentiment far beyond its market value," Atlas says. Family heirlooms aside, you might want to include a comic book collection or even a beloved pet that you wouldn't want to part with in the agreement.
Con: Your future spouse may be uncomfortable or feel insulted, particularly if he or she is a romantic. "A key thing to remember when considering a prenuptial agreement is that you're indirectly saying, 'I don't have faith in this marriage,'" says Jeff Fishman, a financial advisor based in Los Angeles. "There's no telling how the other party is going to react. I've seen several couples split before the wedding because of some perceived outlandishness over a prenup. They can open a marriage minefield."
On the other hand, if you know your partner well, chances are you'll already have a pretty good idea how he or she will react. If you think your future spouse will react negatively, you'll want to emphasize that you're trying to be realistic, proactive and to come up with a plan that benefits both of you in a worst-case scenario.
Con: The prenup may favor one spouse. "People can be blindsided by love at the beginning of the relationship, and as a result might agree to terms that are not in their best interest," Atlas says.
In other words, if your partner comes to you with a prenup, and you haven't been involved in the writing of this agreement, you'll want to bring in your own attorney. No matter what you decide to do, do not blindly agree to a contract. You'll want to make sure you're both happy with how you plan to separate your own property, shared property and, if applicable, alimony payments, in the event of a divorce.
As for how much hiring legal representation will cost, typically, it depends how many assets you have to protect. Many attorneys say to expect to spend at least $2,500 per person, although some online legal websites offer prenup planning for less. The legal services company LegalZoom offers prenup planning for $995 ($1,490 if the wedding is less than two weeks away).
Con: A prenup contract focuses on the future. This may be the biggest negative, says Arthur Ettinger, matrimonial and family law attorney with the firm Greenspoon Marder in New York City.
"You are contracting now for a future event that you hope will never occur. If it does occur, you have no idea when. And it is utterly impossible to predict your financial or other circumstances at the time of that eventual, unhoped-for divorce," Ettinger says.
In other words, you and your partner could have far more money, say, 10 years from now, and if the prenup is structured poorly, potentially one person could leave the marriage much wealthier than the other. Or it could go the other way. Your collective household may not have all that much money, and you could be contracted to pay your partner far more than you're able, Ettinger warns.
"That is the real con of a prenuptial agreement – if you are contracting around the law and circumstances change, you are in almost all cases stuck with the bargain you have made," he says.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't get a prenup. Generally, if you or your partner has a lot to lose in a possible divorce, you should consider getting a prenup. For instance, if you own a business, have a robust retirement account or you have assets you want to pass onto your children, you may be a good candidate for a prenup.
"No one wants to lose their business along with their marriage," Freed says. She also points out that many couples get financial assistance from a parent when they buy a house. "No one wants the ex to pocket mom's down payment," Freed adds.
On the other hand, if neither of you have much to lose, you may not benefit from a prenup. "The simple answer is if you generally want what the law provides, you don't need a prenuptial agreement," Ettinger says. "That is, if you and your partner-to-be plan to have everything you earn or accumulate throughout your marriage be considered marital property, regardless of whose name it is held in and divided accordingly upon divorce – you probably do not need a prenuptial agreement."
Source: https://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/family-finance/articles/2018-08-03/the-pros-and-cons-of-prenups?int=undefined-rec
Divorce has many observable consequences for all involved, such as the legal, financial, and emotional. What are not always visible or talked about are the health consequences, both in the short term and the long run.
A significant number of people who have gone through divorce are experiencing all kinds of emotions and stress. Even the person who may have initiated the divorce and is experiencing elation or relief from their daily experience of negativity, will have stress related to the inevitable changes in their lives. The stress of breaking up has often been compared to the stress of dealing with the death of a loved one. The losses that come with divorce and separation can show up in milder ways as depressed mood or anxiety about the future, to extreme emotional breakdowns.
Children in the family may experience many of the same feelings but exhibit them differently. As much as parents may be left with a loss of control about their future, the children may feel even more uncertain about their lives –leading to internalized stress or externalized behavioral problems.
Common Symptoms Experienced Following Separation
There are physiological consequences of stress, depression, and anxiety that follow the initial separation. Symptoms such as appetite and sleep changes, difficulty in digesting foods, changes in blood sugar and racing heart rates are not uncommon. Not surprisingly, studies have shown a higher prevalence of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and mobility problems in people who have experienced divorce. It appears that some of these consequences remain, for some, even after people get remarried. Each person reacts to difficult situations in unique ways and there is no clear timetable that fits all individuals.
There may be gender and age differences in the kinds of stress experienced by the family members experiencing the divorce. Statistically, most people experience a drop in financial standard of living as a consequence of divorce. This change is often felt more by women. Just when people are experiencing financial difficulties and feeling the health consequences, they may also find themselves with less-than-adequate health insurance benefits. The time when they may need the support of health and mental-health professionals the most, they may hold back from reaching out for help. The common wisdom is that it takes people a year or two to regain their sense of normality after divorce. However, for children, they may re-experience the consequences of divorce at different developmental stages.
It helps if parents are aware and actively working on self-care and being mindful of the stresses on their children, both in the early stages and even after the worst is over. It is especially important for them to know that staying angry and/or sad for a long time can cost them their health.
Warning Signs That Should Prompt You to Seek Help
- You have experienced drastic changes in your appetite or sleep patterns.
- You have a sense of panic most of the day.
- You are unable to function normally at work.
- You have no time for yourself anymore.
- You are experiencing a change in the amount of headaches, heart palpitations, stomach aches, etc.
Being stressed when your life is being turned upside down is NORMAL; however, remaining at that level of stress for too long will affect your ability to function at work, make decisions, parent, and be healthy. Getting regular check-ups with your doctor and seeing a mental-health professional could help you. Also very important is to implement lifestyle changes.
Lifestyle Changes to Implement
- Regular exercise
- Healthful eating
- Meditation
- Connecting with friends and family
- Making sure you include some fun and relaxation on a regular basis
